Caution: Stupid when tired

For about the 4th night in a row last night I was unable to sleep soundly, for no apparent reason. I can't stop thinking, and about really really stupid things. This is going to sound really dumb, but when I try going to sleep, I start imagining that my brain is like a computer program that I have to finish before I try compiling it in case there's a bug...so I have to set my brain in perfect order or something before it will fall asleep. Sometimes I'm thinking about what my brain feels like on a night when I DO fall asleep easily, and trying to get it there, only that doesn't work because as soon as you work on relaxing then you can't.

Anyway, the result of all this is that I've becoming a complete idiot, in that I do really dumb things when I'm not paying attention. A small example occurred today, as I was exiting the subway at Spadina station on the west side near the Tim Horton's I went to the revolving door and started pushing where it said push. Only after a minute of frustration at being unable to leave, and when a bunch of people exited normally, did I realize that I was trying to exit through the IN revolving doors, which are very obviously different from the OUT revolving doors (Maybe I went to the Midvale school for the gifted :-P). I felt very stupid and felt like saying to those other people 'really, I'm not THAT dumb!! really!!! just very tired'.

Another side effect is that I am unable to form coherent sentences in normal conversation...my words become jumbled and mumbled...(I guess that makes what I say mumbo jumbo! :-P).

I went and bought some kind of sleeping aid at the pharmacy today. I hope it helps when I get into one of my non-sleeping active brain modes.

That's it for now, ciaociao.